Sunday, October 31, 2010

Election Day Carols

Election Day has always been one of my favorite holidays, like Christmas. Instead of presents, we elected officials. This year we get a new governor, senator and representatives! If we're lucky, Santa arrives in red. But no major holiday is complete without its share of celebratory songs. Since we don't have any for this important day, we took it upon ourselves to write some!
It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Elections (to the tune of, you guessed it, It's Beginning to Look a lot Like Christmas)
It's beginning to look a lot like Elections,
Everywhere you drive,
Campaign signs in every yard, time to find your voter card,
So in these troubled times you can survive.
It's beginning to look a lot like elections,
Smear campaigns aflame
But it's the ballot that you bring that will make your candidate sing
"I am not to blame."
A right to four walls and heathcare for all
Is the wish of Pelosi and Reid;
A balanced budget so rare and a tax that is fair
Is the hope of the people indeed;
We want to you vote on bills you actually read.
It's begining to look a lot like elections
Everywhere you drive,
There is a feeling air, don't listen to us if you dare
It's your job approval that will dive.
It's begining to look a lot like elections,
Soon we'll get our say,
And wonderful way to start, is to make sure you play your part;
Vote on election day.
But in writing this we're really hoping we can get Karl Rove to sing this next Election Day carol:
Red Election (to the tune of 'White Christmas')
I'm dreaming of a red Elelcton,
Just like the ones I used to know.
Where the red map glistens
and politicians listen,
We'll tell progressive where to go.
I"m dreaming of a red Election,
with every poll I analyze,
May our government be smaller and wise
and we'll bring Washington down to size.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

The Hatchet and Pickle?

What? The Hatchet and Pickle?

The name states the entire premise of the blog it's time to get out the hatchet and start cutting because we are in a real pickle. We have been submerged in the cool aid of the progressive movement for too long now. It is quite funny how they operate they change the color of your brine from green to this sickly tinted rose and than hopefully to all out red. They do their best to convince you that the world is better now that their cool aid has infiltrated your jar. But is it really, I mean really. Is a cool aid tainted pickle is that really as good a regular pickle? Would you chop it make relish? Would you use it at your next barbeque? How about for tartar sauce? I don't think so. A pickle is a versitle food that be served with many dishes what does adding cool aid do except make it unifunction dish.

But perhaps that is the master plan, reduce the effectiveness of the pickles and change them into monopurpose items incapable of being the industrious complimentary condiment. If the pickles exercised their free will that would be dangerous; they are just sour, bitter objects looking at world through their green brine. Unlike our fabricated progressive pickles, who are sweet, tart and view the world through cool aid laced rose colored brine. But I think by now you get my point, or perhaps you are just floating in too much cool aid.

This blog is for all the kosher dills who want to see the world again from our own jars and not the contaminated ones we have been forced to live in. The rose colored world ends, it might not pretty, it won't be easy but it is required that we stop floating in the cool aid to stop the insantity.

The Red Pickle